THE JOKER

In the 1980s I had a buddy who worked for a Mega Pop-Star. Being on the road for long stretches of time can be fun, but it also can get pretty monotonous and dull. It is not at all uncommon to play pranks and pull practical jokes just to entertain yourself. This is a story Charlie told me about his time on the road and let it serve as a warning: Think Before You Prank.

Charlie was one of the biggest cut-ups you’d ever want to meet. He was in charge of transportation on this tour. He’d just arrived in Los Angeles and checked into his room–the prestigious and well-appointed Westwood Marquis. Charlie decides to kick back on the bed to watch a little t.v. He’s leaning a little on the nightstand next to the bed, watching the tube when Bill walks in. Bill is an older southern black man and the Head of Security for the Mega-Star. As Bill walks into the room, Charlie decides to have a little fun with him. Charlie speaks at the television and says “T.V. Off.” And the television shuts down. Well, old Bill is amazed and asks what’s going on. “Oh, this is one of those new voice-activated Sony televisions,” Charlie says with a straight face. Now Bill, not being remotely technology-minded, says “No kidding?”

“Go on, try it,” Charlie encourages him and Bill faces the t.v. and says with his southern drawl “t.v. On” and the set comes to life. “See,” Charlie says. “Try it again.” Bill loudly says “t.v. Off” and the idiot box shuts off.

Bill is so thrilled by this, he runs out of the room, and comes back with the Mega-Star and his brother in tow. “You’re never gonna believe this,” he says excitedly to Bubba and his brother. He walks up to the t.v. and says “t.v. On.” Nothing happens. He’s puzzled, but persistent. “T.V. ON!!” he says loudly. Still nothing. Bubba and his brother look at Charlie, and he has tears running down his face from trying not to laugh. He finally busts out laughing.

“Bill, you’re a fool,” Bubba’s brother says, turning to go. “You’re a fool,” Bubba repeats in his high little voice and they both leave. Poor old Bill looks at Charlie, who’s still laughing. “It was a joke,” he tells Bill and shows him how the remote control is attached to the nightstand. Bill nods a little, smiles a little, says goodnight and leaves.

The next day, Charlie is told to pack his bags. He’s been informed that his services are no longer needed on the tour. He’s really down in the mouth–this was a lucrative gig and he doesn’t know what’s up. In the midst of his packing and loading up his gear, Bill walks by the room. He pokes his head in and says “Hey Charlie, how do you like my joke?”

Moral of the Story: If you’re going to pull a prank, you might think twice about pulling it on the man who’s above you in the food chain and you better think three times about making him look the fool in front of his boss!

Description
This position administers the protective services programs for the Chairman and selected executives, and ensures the safety of the Chairman and selected executives when traveling in the New York Metropolitan area, as well as other selected destinations.  This position also performs, among other things, security advances in preparation for events involving senior executives or the dissemination of proprietary information, investigative analysis and international risk assessments.

1. Administers protective services programs for the Chairman, and other executives of the company, including safe and secure transportation services.
2. Coordinates and performs thorough security advances of meetings and special event locations.
3. Conduct investigative research and analysis in support of Corporate Security investigative efforts.
4. Conduct risk assessments for countries and provide travel alerts for BASF travelers to International destinations.
5. Ensures the security and confidentiality of work performed.
6. Ensures the procurement, installation and operational instruction of security equipment required at the residences or offices of certain executives.
7. Ability to work unusual, varied hours with short notification times, may stay overnight on extended trips.
8. Masters “vehicle dynamics”, defensive and escape and evasion driving skills in a scored and evaluated training program; re-trains and re-certifies every two years.
9. Maintains and operates communications devices, emergency response and contingency equipment as well as defensive and diversionary devices.
10. Analyze, verify and maintain Corporate Security’s incident database consisting of incident reports.  Includes reviewing and overseeing correction of incident reports to ensure accuracy of statistical information.
11. Responds to medical emergencies involving key personnel.
12. Establish and maintain relationships with appropriate law enforcement personnel and interface with local police.
 
To Apply click here: BASF Bodyguard Job

One of the questions I’m asked most is “how do I find the work?” It can be very difficult to secure bodyguard or executive protection contracts, and I’d like to address what I perceive as a shortcoming in terms of landing good jobs: Self-Promotion.

The world has changed, and your marketing strategy has got to change. One of the first ways we check to see if an individual or business is “legitimate” is by conducting an internet search. There is so much information available at our fingertips that the perception now is that if you don’t have a website that you are not truly a “professional.” The truth is, if you are an independent contractor, you MUST have a presence on the web. It doesn’t matter if you have all the training in the world, an arsenal of weapons, specialized skills and even a top-notch resume–if people cannot learn more about you and locate you on the world wide web, you are not accorded respectability. I’m not saying it’s right; I’m just saying that’s how it works.

Don’t forget, YOU are your business when you’re an independent contractor. You can create a very simple website without spending a fortune. Domain names can be purchased at places like Yahoo for low monthly fees. There are a great many web masters with a wide range of fees, so you can find someone to work with in your price range. Emphasize your strengths and skills and professionalism. Above all, be truthful. You are seeking work in a field where integrity, discretion and dependability are paramount–the first step is to garner respect, so honesty is key. (more…)

“Guarding presidential candidates 24 hours a day, Secret Service agents know better than almost anyone what they are really like. Among Secret Service agents, no protectee evokes more disdain than ______________.”

So begins a recent story that was authored by an anonymous USSS agent. I will not be posting the complete story, which lambastes a particular candidate, because this runs counter to the “code of ethics” I believe are required to work as an Executive Protection Specialist or Bodyguard.

I find it appalling that at this echelon of personal protection, given the enormous salaries these individuals are earning, that an agent feels compelled to send out a printed missive venting frustrations or grievances against the character of the principal. To be truthful, the “warm and fuzzy” individuals who are in need of personal protection are few and far between. That’s a fact. These people have outrageous schedules, often an enormous amount of responsibility, and an unprecedented agenda that is first about business, and last about caring what their protectors think about them.

If this is a career path you wish to follow, be advised that it is more than likely that you won’t think the best of your employer. You may not like their lifestyle, their attitude, their manner with people or their politics.

But here’s the thing–if you work at Burger King, your job is to flip burgers and make nice to the customers, for a paltry minimum wage. If you are hired to work a protective detail, your job is to ensure no harm comes to your protectee. That’s it. The reason a Bodyguard or Agent earns so much is because the job is dangerous, certainly. But there is also a code of silence and respect that is inherent in this work. If you can’t manage to maintain discretion, go take that job at Burger King–because you’re making those of us who are professionals look bad.

Personally, I respected the USSS when they conducted themselves as quiet professionals. There’s a reason it’s called “The Secret Service.”

Galahad Protective Services

Employment Opportunity

Galahad is seeking qualified candidates to join their team as bodyguards. Newly appointed bodyguards will have an opportunity to be assigned work in the greater Los Angeles area, and work any variety of residential estate security assignments, special field details, and multi-man protective projects. Throughout your career, you may also have the opportunity to work a wide variety of protective assignments that include travel throughout the United States and foreign countries.
49,504.00 – 55,328.00 USD /year

Click link to apply: http://jobview.monster.com/GetJob.aspx?JobID=61100822