THE JOKER

In the 1980s I had a buddy who worked for a Mega Pop-Star. Being on the road for long stretches of time can be fun, but it also can get pretty monotonous and dull. It is not at all uncommon to play pranks and pull practical jokes just to entertain yourself. This is a story Charlie told me about his time on the road and let it serve as a warning: Think Before You Prank.

Charlie was one of the biggest cut-ups you’d ever want to meet. He was in charge of transportation on this tour. He’d just arrived in Los Angeles and checked into his room–the prestigious and well-appointed Westwood Marquis. Charlie decides to kick back on the bed to watch a little t.v. He’s leaning a little on the nightstand next to the bed, watching the tube when Bill walks in. Bill is an older southern black man and the Head of Security for the Mega-Star. As Bill walks into the room, Charlie decides to have a little fun with him. Charlie speaks at the television and says “T.V. Off.” And the television shuts down. Well, old Bill is amazed and asks what’s going on. “Oh, this is one of those new voice-activated Sony televisions,” Charlie says with a straight face. Now Bill, not being remotely technology-minded, says “No kidding?”

“Go on, try it,” Charlie encourages him and Bill faces the t.v. and says with his southern drawl “t.v. On” and the set comes to life. “See,” Charlie says. “Try it again.” Bill loudly says “t.v. Off” and the idiot box shuts off.

Bill is so thrilled by this, he runs out of the room, and comes back with the Mega-Star and his brother in tow. “You’re never gonna believe this,” he says excitedly to Bubba and his brother. He walks up to the t.v. and says “t.v. On.” Nothing happens. He’s puzzled, but persistent. “T.V. ON!!” he says loudly. Still nothing. Bubba and his brother look at Charlie, and he has tears running down his face from trying not to laugh. He finally busts out laughing.

“Bill, you’re a fool,” Bubba’s brother says, turning to go. “You’re a fool,” Bubba repeats in his high little voice and they both leave. Poor old Bill looks at Charlie, who’s still laughing. “It was a joke,” he tells Bill and shows him how the remote control is attached to the nightstand. Bill nods a little, smiles a little, says goodnight and leaves.

The next day, Charlie is told to pack his bags. He’s been informed that his services are no longer needed on the tour. He’s really down in the mouth–this was a lucrative gig and he doesn’t know what’s up. In the midst of his packing and loading up his gear, Bill walks by the room. He pokes his head in and says “Hey Charlie, how do you like my joke?”

Moral of the Story: If you’re going to pull a prank, you might think twice about pulling it on the man who’s above you in the food chain and you better think three times about making him look the fool in front of his boss!

Back in the 1980s, most bodyguard “training” consisted of stints in the military. (ESI is the oldest intelligence-based protection services training program in the world, and was founded only 28 years ago.) I was one of the lucky few who fell into this line of work thanks to friendships and “right time, right place” circumstances.

I had to do most of my learning on-the-job. When I started out in this business, I was pretty much the baggage wrangler, and moved my way up through the ranks. Along my move up, I became involved in conducting advance detail duties. One of the most important things I learned is that executive protection work is based on a strong foundation of advance work. The advance team serves as the “eyes and ears” for the detail. Advance work means using a checklist to prepare for all types of scenarios.

At that time (before any formal training on advance work  was in place) it was really something that came out of developing common sense, using imagination to help visualize “worse-case-scenarios” and paying attention to intuition. I actually rather enjoyed doing advance work, because truthfully–it was time to myself when I wasn’t at the beck and call of the protectee I was protecting. It was breathing room, and a chance to look around whatever city we might be in! This is a true story about the importance of conducting thorough advance work. (more…)

In the interest of privacy, I have left out the names of the parties or the organization involved in this story.

In the summer of 2006, my partner and I took on a new client; a prosecuting attorney.

She had been hired by the government, to serve as outside counsel in a trial incriminating the leader of one of the world’s largest white supremacist organizations. The trial had been ongoing for almost a year with no major interruptions, when this attorney began getting death threats at home and on internet message boards. She was even followed home from one of the hearings. My partner and I were called upon to accompany her for the final day of the trial.

With a surveillance team placed outside the courthouse, our duties were simply to provide transportation to the trial, escort our client into the courtroom, take a seat close by, and to not let her out of our sight. Pretty basic. However, at the last minute, the trial was opened to the public. Nearly 100 white supremacist supporters and fellow members of this “brotherhood” decided to show their support for the man on trial by coming into the courthouse. This was a very different scenario from the one we’d anticipated when we took this prosecuting attorney on as our client!

Most bodyguards make sure they are noticed, using their size to intimidate any would-be trouble makers. Thanks to my bald, shaved head, in this crowd of white supremacists, I went undetected as a bodyguard, and I intended to keep it that way.

As the morning proceedings began, I glanced around the room to assess my surroundings. The majority of the crowd was taking a genuine interest in the trial, with the exception of one man, who seemed to be staring at my client. He looked almost hypnotized, he was staring so hard and continuously. I was not too concerned about him being in possession of any weapons, since there had been extensive screening and searches prior to admitting anyone into the courthouse.

But I was concerned about a physical attack or the use of an object already in the room as a weapon. There are always those individuals who take the leap of faith over the small barrier to attack a defendant or lawyer, so I was on the alert. The first half of the final day of the trial came to a close, and the court was recessed for a 30 minute break. My client retreated to the prosecutor’s chambers; a small room only accessible by a small door in plain sight. Nearly all of the crowd filed out of the courtroom to the common area to get refreshments, use the phone, restrooms, etc. I asked my partner to sit tight in the courtroom, while I go out to mingle with the crowd in the common area.

(more…)

This is not a story about glamour and protecting international superstars. This is a true story about a team of bodyguards trying to survive in a tough industry. All people and places have been changed due to discretion and client security. But the core of the story is the absolute truth.

In 2004 I had started a North European-based Bodyguard Agency with some of my friends. We all had great ambitions for the new firm, since the team was comprised of former army special services and law enforcement agents with executive protection training and bodyguard experience. My partner Steen had  trained the year before at ESI Academy in the US and we felt that we had what it takes to make it in the industry.

Four months passed, and we had only had a handful of clients, mostly short-term assignments. More “bouncer” work than “bodyguard work” Steen used to call it. We took assignments like protecting women from physically abusive husbands or boyfriends.

Landing those Executive Protection contracts was challenging, because in Europe, there are more trained bodyguards than actual jobs. But we were optimistic. Finally, in December of 2004 we got the call we where waiting for. A lawyer (let’s call him Mr. Larson) said that he was going to Rotterdam in Holland and needed Close Personal Protection for the trip. He told me that he had a meeting and a deal that he needed to close with one of his clients there. Mr. Larson said that if he liked working with us, he would consider hiring us as full-time drivers and bodyguards. Steen and I went to meet with Mr. Larson and he seemed like a nice person and we were glad to finally get some serious protection work. (more…)

Conflict in Sierra Leone

I have been a bodyguard for over 12 years in Nigeria. My VIPs are usually former Nigerian leaders, however one of the expectations of this kind of work in Nigeria– is that you can be assigned to special duty anywhere in the world. Which is how I came to be in Sierra Leone in 1998, along with 16 other men. Our assignment: evacuate overthrown President Ahmad Tejan Kabbah from his villa, where he was held captive by the R.U.F. (Revolutionary United Front, led by Foday Sankoh.) After we were briefed by the CSO, we boarded aircraft and flew to Liberia, and when attempting to get to the Freetown airport, the R.U.F. fired on us. Amidst a good deal of shelling and gunfire, we were able finally to get to the President and evacuated him to neighboring Guinea, where he was in hiding for 3 months–and then reinstated as President.

In the end, we lost 2 bodyguards in that action, but the R.U.F. lost many more–including their leader.

Babangida Yakubu Thank you for sharing this story. It is a reminder to us all that in other parts of the world civil unrest and political climate can mean that being a “bodyguard” is more like being a “soldier,” and that the risks of the job vary widely, depending upon where you are in the world. –Harlan “Hucky” Austin