When you work for an extremely popular mega-star, one of the major responsibilities is dealing with the paparazzi. They can be like sharks with cameras, and navigating rough waters with a famous celebrity can be tricky and sometimes downright dangerous.

I worked for a major recording celebrity in the 1980s who didn’t like having his picture taken. He was always asking us to try and confiscate the film. One time, as my client was getting into his limousine, a photog jumped into the car with him to snap a close shot. The client went crazy, and the head of security asked us to handle the situation. I was young, but I knew that if I laid my hands on this photographer, or his camera equipment,  it could mean big trouble since the law would be on his side. The other two bodyguards in the entourage jumped into action–forcefully ejecting the guy from the car and grabbing his camera and film.

Of course, the photog called the police and one bodyguard was arrested for battery and the other for robbery. They spent the night in jail.

Since our client was so adamant about not letting people take his picture, it was always a big pain dealing with the paparazzi. He’d order us to confiscate the film from the camera (that was back before digital) but we’d all learned our lesson, and it wasn’t worth jail or the consequential smear on our records to steal property from other people just because he was camera-shy! It got so we’d keep rolls of film in our pockets, just so he’d think we’d done his bidding. We’d race off after a guy, and a couple minutes later, return. He’d ask to see the evidence, and we’d reach into a pocket and pull out one of our decoys.

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This story is a reminder of how working an Executive Protection detail requires the ability to make split-second decisions based on the best information available at the time.

In 2004, I was working overseas in the South of France, working with a television production team. My protectee was an American actress, and my contract and arrangement with the show’s Producer was that my energy and focus should be strictly on keeping her safe.

We were all at the airport in Nice, France, waiting for our luggage and equipment. Everybody was dead tired because the night before, the entire cast and crew had attended a VIP party to celebrate and promote the show. It had been a long day, followed by an even longer night, and everybody was over-tired, some a little hung over, and all of us desperately needed some sleep. My protectee had invited some friends to the party, and they were along with us at the airport, when one of her male friends lights up a cigarette–ignoring the “No Smoking” signs.

A local French man with a chip on his shoulder when it comes to Americans, starts yelling at him, insisting in broken English that he put out his cigarette. Clearly, the guy was breaking the rules. And they start getting into it, yelling and wildly gesturing. I was annoyed, but what was I supposed to do–my responsibility was to look after the star of the show–not her friends. Well, her friend is not only breaking the rules, but he starts acting like an “Ugly American,” and things start to escalate.

The French man is yelling loudly and then starts the shoving. My protectee turns to me and implores “Don, DO something!”

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Nobody’s Thug

Back in the mid-90s, I was working with a partner in Los Angeles. We got the call to work a detail for a wealthy V.I.P. who needed two bodyguards for a night out at one of the swankiest nightclubs in the city. My partner and I were responsible for driving this gentleman and his entourage of 15 people to the venue, and the job was fairly routine, as these jobs go; escorting his guests to the restroom, getting the server when the cocktails were running low, keeping his area of the V.I.P. room secure.

Everything changed when a friend of mine showed up. She and I had met at the gym, and both knew some of the same people in the acting world. It just so happened her photo spread had just appeared, and she was Playboy’s Playmate of the Month. She came by to say hello, and immediately after she walks away, my client asks “who was that?” He was rather forceful guy, clearly accustomed to getting what he wanted. “I want to meet her,” he insisted. So, I thought to be polite, I’d make an introduction. I brought her around to his table, and of course she was her usual nice, friendly self and she’d become something of a celebrity so she was obliging a fan.

After a few minutes of chatting, and a glass of champagne, she excused herself and returned to her friends. My client walked up to me and said “I want her.” He seemed to mistake her charm and politeness for interest in him. I explained that she was there with her boyfriend, a New York actor of some note, but that didn’t dissuade this guy. “How much do I have to pay you to kick his ass?” I was taken aback. I’d never had a client make such a ridiculous request.

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THE JOKER

In the 1980s I had a buddy who worked for a Mega Pop-Star. Being on the road for long stretches of time can be fun, but it also can get pretty monotonous and dull. It is not at all uncommon to play pranks and pull practical jokes just to entertain yourself. This is a story Charlie told me about his time on the road and let it serve as a warning: Think Before You Prank.

Charlie was one of the biggest cut-ups you’d ever want to meet. He was in charge of transportation on this tour. He’d just arrived in Los Angeles and checked into his room–the prestigious and well-appointed Westwood Marquis. Charlie decides to kick back on the bed to watch a little t.v. He’s leaning a little on the nightstand next to the bed, watching the tube when Bill walks in. Bill is an older southern black man and the Head of Security for the Mega-Star. As Bill walks into the room, Charlie decides to have a little fun with him. Charlie speaks at the television and says “T.V. Off.” And the television shuts down. Well, old Bill is amazed and asks what’s going on. “Oh, this is one of those new voice-activated Sony televisions,” Charlie says with a straight face. Now Bill, not being remotely technology-minded, says “No kidding?”

“Go on, try it,” Charlie encourages him and Bill faces the t.v. and says with his southern drawl “t.v. On” and the set comes to life. “See,” Charlie says. “Try it again.” Bill loudly says “t.v. Off” and the idiot box shuts off.

Bill is so thrilled by this, he runs out of the room, and comes back with the Mega-Star and his brother in tow. “You’re never gonna believe this,” he says excitedly to Bubba and his brother. He walks up to the t.v. and says “t.v. On.” Nothing happens. He’s puzzled, but persistent. “T.V. ON!!” he says loudly. Still nothing. Bubba and his brother look at Charlie, and he has tears running down his face from trying not to laugh. He finally busts out laughing.

“Bill, you’re a fool,” Bubba’s brother says, turning to go. “You’re a fool,” Bubba repeats in his high little voice and they both leave. Poor old Bill looks at Charlie, who’s still laughing. “It was a joke,” he tells Bill and shows him how the remote control is attached to the nightstand. Bill nods a little, smiles a little, says goodnight and leaves.

The next day, Charlie is told to pack his bags. He’s been informed that his services are no longer needed on the tour. He’s really down in the mouth–this was a lucrative gig and he doesn’t know what’s up. In the midst of his packing and loading up his gear, Bill walks by the room. He pokes his head in and says “Hey Charlie, how do you like my joke?”

Moral of the Story: If you’re going to pull a prank, you might think twice about pulling it on the man who’s above you in the food chain and you better think three times about making him look the fool in front of his boss!

Back in the 1980s, most bodyguard “training” consisted of stints in the military. (ESI is the oldest intelligence-based protection services training program in the world, and was founded only 28 years ago.) I was one of the lucky few who fell into this line of work thanks to friendships and “right time, right place” circumstances.

I had to do most of my learning on-the-job. When I started out in this business, I was pretty much the baggage wrangler, and moved my way up through the ranks. Along my move up, I became involved in conducting advance detail duties. One of the most important things I learned is that executive protection work is based on a strong foundation of advance work. The advance team serves as the “eyes and ears” for the detail. Advance work means using a checklist to prepare for all types of scenarios.

At that time (before any formal training on advance work  was in place) it was really something that came out of developing common sense, using imagination to help visualize “worse-case-scenarios” and paying attention to intuition. I actually rather enjoyed doing advance work, because truthfully–it was time to myself when I wasn’t at the beck and call of the protectee I was protecting. It was breathing room, and a chance to look around whatever city we might be in! This is a true story about the importance of conducting thorough advance work. (more…)