In the movie, The Bodyguard, Frank Farmer is assigned to protect Whitney Houston’s character, Rachel Marron.
In the film, after a rocky start eventually, the two fall in love.
Many lessons can be learned from this film. Many will say that this is just Hollywood; however, I have seen this played out in real life. In one instance, the bodyguard and the principal had a great relationship that lasted for many years.
In another situation, the bodyguard was fired after he and the principal broke up.
The idea of having a romantic relationship with your principal may seem like an entertaining and exciting prospect.
But in reality, it is very unwise and can lead to severe consequences.
The following are eight major reasons why you should NEVER be like Frank Farmer and have a relationship with your principal.
Romantic Relationships with the Principal Bad Idea!
1. It might ruin your career.
If you get caught having a relationship with your boss, there is a high chance that your boss will be forced to fire you. In addition to this, you may even get blacklisted from the industry and never be able to work in the business or industry again.
2. What if they don’t feel the same way about you?
Your boss has no obligation to care about your feelings in any way, shape, or form.
But if their relationship becomes serious and he/she does not see it in the same light as you do, then it could lead to serious issues down the line.
3. It’s unethical in many industries.
Many industries frown upon employees having a relationship with their bosses, no matter how long they’ve been working there.
In fact, the Canadian government has even gone as far as to deem it illegal for anyone to have a romantic relationship with their employer or supervisor.
4. It doesn’t work out very often.
Most of the time, romantic relationships between employees and bosses don’t work out because the employee becomes too dependent on the boss.
This creates a power imbalance that can also affect their careers if they decide to break up with each other.
5. It’s just not worth it.
In the end, even if you do manage to have a relationship with your boss, it probably won’t last very long and could even ruin your career in some way or another.
You would be better off finding someone else to spend your time and energy with rather than risking it on your boss.
Don’t Be Like Frank Farmer
6. Tactical.
Any relationship that takes you out of your professional zone as a protection agent can place both of you in imminent danger.
Relationships like this tend to cloud the agents’ judgment and can take him/her out of the “Now.”
As a protection agent on duty, your mind will tend to be in one of three places: The Past, the Present (Now), and the Future.
If the agents’ mind is in any other place but the “Present,” he’s in trouble if an attack jumps off.
A romantic relationship between an agent and his/her client puts them both at risk.
In the movie Enter the Dragon, at the start of the movie Bruce Lee, while schooling his young disciple in the woods, tells him, “Don’t focus on the finger, or you will miss all the heavenly glory.”
The message here is that when an agent is emotionally or romantically focused on his client – he will inevitably miss something that may cost both him and his client their lives.
7. Clinical.
The medical profession has long recognized the psychological dilemmas that we have seen occur wherein the patient (client/victim in our terminology) becomes attracted to a person coming to their rescue.
Transferential dynamics are typical in clinical encounters where patients are dependent and physically and emotionally more vulnerable.
It is common for patients to be emotionally and physically attracted to professionals who care for them.
As a protection specialist, you should be aware of this phenomenon because you could easily fall into that emotional role!
8. Can be a Legal nightmare.
The idea of romantic involvement with a client or employer is complicated enough under Title VII of the Civil rights Act of 1964.
However, a spotted evolution has resulted in complicating how we view potential romances between employers and employees.
Keep in mind that charges of discrimination can be brought by co-workers, who weren’t even involved in the relationship, but feel that their promotions or advancement were stifled because the person who was involved with the boss was getting preferential treatment (going back to the 1990s when the EEOC declared that sexual favoritism can be sexual harassment).
It also makes it difficult for contractors supplying security services, or for the Protectee’s organization because of Faragher v. City of Boca Raton and Burlington Industries Inc. v. Ellerth: the Supreme Court stated that the employer is responsible for the actions of their employees, even when the employer is unaware of the employee’s behavior.
Thus, it can be a very expensive kiss.
In conclusion, If you feel that it may be acceptable, as an executive protection provider, to enter into a relationship with your client or any person under your protection, then you need to find a new line of work.
The quickest way to lose your edge as a protector is to give away your objectivity and replace it with emotion.
Therefore, you need to remain, at all times, emotionally detached from the client.
Even if the relationship is a purely physical one between two consenting adults, the psychology attached to the relationship will most likely influence your daily decision-making on some level.
There is also powerful psychology that may affect the client, which will often make you attractive to the client (especially in a higher threat level detail), and you, as the professional, need to be the one to keep your interaction strictly by the book.
So the idea of having a romantic relationship with your client, like Frank Farmer is a bad idea that comes with many unforeseeable consequences.
It may seem tempting to spend time with someone you know will give you access to their wealth of knowledge and experience, but it’s not worth the risk.
About Harlan Austin
Harlan Austin is the founder and editor of Bodyguard Careers. If you need help getting started in Executive Protection, Click on this link.
I also agree that it is ethically and professionally wrong to develop a romantic relationship with a principal and I am glad that it is being discussed here because this will benefit the new EPS who are facing this situation and perhaps contemplating such relationship.
THIS IS TOTALLY WRONG FOR THE PROFESSION, IT ENDANGER THEIR LIFE BOTH. IT’S BETTER TO QUIT AND GO HONORABLY THAN ALLOWING YOURSELF TO DESTROY YOUR PROFESSION BY A SIMPLE LUST.
In the ten commandment of Executive Protection one of the commandment are NEVER NEVER FALL IN LOVE… The Executive Protection Agent primary functions is to ensure the protectee’s SAFETY.. NOT TO LOVE TO THE PROTECTEE’S.
NO,NO,NO, and now for the next (form the real world)subject please?….
You said it Joseph KEEP IT PROFESSIONAL!!! and NO scimax it should not be a discussion, if a CPO new or exp does not know that this topic is wrong than we are in trouble. Actions of CPO’s such as this topic reflects poorly on all CPO’s… stay safe yall’
I’ve had an instance where the client tried to develop that casual romantic relationship with me..I knew that her hidden motive was to try and get free security in the long run! Its all about the money! It can be a difficult decision!! I played it well and kept it professional. Its more difficult to make money than having casual relations.
I see quite a few people asked “how can this even be a discussion?”; I think for a person that is new to the industry a topic like this; and especially the comments would make them realise to stay clear of any form of romantic involvement. it is topics like this and comments by professionals that I believe can help shape new CPO’s to the industry.
I must say this as I agree with Mr Holifield and as well as the other mention here. “A no brainer” Now having said that.
Even though it was a movie. Frank Farmer (Kevin) did made a true statement after he realize that he crossed over the professional ethical line. His words was”I can’t protect you like this.” Agreeing with all that was said above to the fact is 1.) You’re no longer will be acting on your trained professional experiences,and skills. Now you’re have a personal interest now because you’re now romantic invole with your clients.
Your professional judgement is now or could be clouded by your personal romantic, emotional ones instead. Thus optionning the chances of yourself, your client who you’re invole with as well as that of your detail team fellow agent. And not to say bystanders.
2.) And as (Kevin) Frank Farmer did tryed to remain professional but yet cling onto a personal involement other than his hired job(to protect) needless to say as so many other stated above his judgement became cloud and judgement was made out of emotions mixed with his trained professional skills and experience.
Bottom line…”Bad ideal…bad call!!!
Stay Professional and cover ya Six all the way round
Nikida
I agree it is a no brainer… As a professional we do not get romantically involved with our clients. Ethics and professionalism at all times. We can not remain objective in our job if emotions cloud the issues.
If you take a look at a blog I wrote(http://www.thebulletproofblog.com/2010/05/this-is-what-not-to-do-lesson-for-all.html)a week prior to this discussion, you’ll see this playing out in real life with Brittany Spears’ bodyguard. He arrives at a restaurant with his arm around his client’s waist and they were observed being “giggly” at what was described as an “intimate lunch”. During the lunch he abandoned her and ran out to where he had illegally parked the vehicle to talk his way out of a ticket. Not only unprofessional and unethical but downright dumb.
This kind of “relationship” should be classed as “Strategic Suicide”.
It has all been mentioned above…
It is professional suicide…
I too have seen it happen but thankfully respect was regained by the CCP leaving the principal for a long enough period so that a professional distance was re established!
Once this was settled the professional relationship was reinstalled.
I must say that this is a very rare case!!
It does happen & you need to be aware of it!
Best to just not get involved n the first place.
Keeping your objectivity is crucial otherwise you just cannot protect your clients effectively!
Again thank you to Doc, Hucky & Six for your real world experience.
THIS IS ETHICALLY WRONG, AND A TOPIC UNHANDLE IN THIS PROFFESION!
Hi Huck,
Business is Business, when you start crossing the line then your taking yourself out of the Professional element. Keep the Articles coming.
I see no way to provide professional services to a client when there is an emotional attachment. As a woman it is difficult to have sex and not be involved emotionally, I realice some men are capable of keeping things as sex only. Romance is a very stong emotion and definately this would cause serious problems for the safty of the client.
YOU GOT that right huck it’s very wrong and very, very dangerous. not to mentioned unprofessional as a personal bodyguard. it will cloud your judgement and damage your ability to perform at an effective status.
Bad attempt at creating a controversial topic. This isn’t even worth commenting on,…just because you ran out of good articles was no reason to go for this.
If you take a look at a blog I wrote(http://www.thebulletproofblog.com/2010/05/this-is-what-not-to-do-lesson-for-all.html)a week prior to this discussion, you’ll see this playing out in real life with Brittany Spears’ bodyguard. He arrives at a restaurant with his arm around his client’s waist and they were observed being “giggly” at what was described as an “intimate lunch”. During the lunch he abandoned her and ran out to where he had illegally parked the vehicle to talk his way out of a ticket. Not only unprofessional and unethical but downright dumb.
This kind of “relationship” should be classed as “Strategic Suicide”.
I personally believe that an inmate relationship with a client will lead to career disaster.
The relationship will not last and after this you would find yourself out of a job and with a damaging reference. Stay within arm’s reach physically, mentally and romantically…
This is very simple and I agree that it should not really even need to be discussed. I consider this “sin” to be at an equal level with “falling asleep at your post”.
If you feel that it may possibly be acceptable, as an executive security provider, to enter into a relationship with your client or any person under your protection, then you need to find a new line of work.
The quickest way to lose your edge as a protector is to give away your objectivity and replace it with emotion. You need to remain, at all times, emotionally detatched from the client.
Even if the relationship is a purely physical one between two consenting adults, the psychology attached to the relationship will most likely influence your daily decision making on some level.
There is also a powerful psychology that may affect the client, that will often make you attractive to the client, (especially in a higher threat level detail) and you, as the professional need to be the one to keep your interaction strictly by-the-book.
Any member of my team that breaks this extremely important rule, is welcome to pursue a relationship with the client but they will no longer do it as a member of the protective detail. Their lack of objectivity could result in a diminished level of security for the client as well as the rest of the team.
My answer is this should not even be a question for a professional. But, in todays world it does not surprise me that it needs to be discussed. I worked a large detail where one of the agents became involved with the principals wife, my “opinion” is that this incident started what would be the eventual downfall of the entire detail. A number of good people lost their jobs because one person (who is quite well known) could not be professional, and security was looked at in disgust by the rest of the principals even though we had no idea what was going on. Not only that but a marriage was ended in a rather messy fashion as well, although I suspect it would have ended even if this agent had not done this, it would have been someone else, the point is it should NEVER have been one of the security agents. There is no question, you are hired to do a job and do it in a professional manner, period, if you can’t then you need to find another profession.
The whole right or wrong question is also a personal thing. It’s not immoral, and only the agent knows what the value of his relationship with his principal(employer) is.
I say drop the feelings and stick to objective. If you can’t get a new assignment and keep her number..
Rex De Macabalin The key to answering this question is, what is more important, the romantic relationship(Love?) or your job? You might end up with both, but not without risking one for the other.
Bad idea more bad can come out of this than good. Two of the biggest potential adversaries you can face are your mind and your heart. When your mind is preoccupied you are not in the “Now,” and this clouds your ability proactively do your job. When the heart is involved (yours or your clients) this too takes you away from your job. Think about the small arguments that have happened in your existing relationships over something that seemed relatively small but your spouse or significant other made it a big deal. Now infuse your client and magnify that 5 fold. Imagine this is a six figure business relationship and you break up has your revenue source now dried up also?
Imagine being on a detail and an attractive person of the opposite sex says something to your client/romantic interest, now your heart and mind (jealousy) are clearly someplace else. Infuse an adversary and magnify it 10 fold. Someone gets seriously injured or dies.
Find love outside of your clients arms!
In general, movies of this genre are entertaining but rarely factual. I enjoyed some of Costner’s performance but shuddered at some of the absolute inaccuracies the director allowed to play for the sake of the production. One such instance was near the final scene where Costner’s character willingly hands over “HIS” UHF radio to a stage hand because of alleged “interference”. Stop–there’s so much wrong with that, we’d be here all night just discussing that scene.
My personal view is that we should avoid romantic involvements on three fronts: 1) Legal, 2) Clinical and 3) Tactical.
1) Legal – The idea of romantic involvement with a client or employer is complicated enough under Title VII of the Civil rights Act of 1964. Through a spotted evolution, it has resulted in complicating how we view potential romances between employers and employees (http://www.dotcr.ost.dot.gov/Documents/complaint/Preventing_Sexual_Harassment.htm ). Keep in mind that charges of discrimination can be brought by co-workers, who weren’t even involved in the relationship, but feel that their promotions or advancement were stifled because the person who was involved with the boss was getting preferential treatment (going back to the 1990’s when the EEOC declared that sexual favoritism can be sexual harassment). It also makes it difficult for contractors supplying security services, or for the Protectee’s organization because of Faragher v. City of Boca Raton, and Burlington Industries Inc. v. Ellerth: the Supreme Court basically stated that the employer is responsible for the actions of their employees, even when the employer is unaware of the employee’s behavior. Thus, it can be a very expensive kiss.
2) Clinical – the medical profession has long recognized the psychological dilemmas that we have seen occur wherein the patient (client/victim in our parlance) becomes attracted to a person who is coming to their rescue. Transferential dynamics are common in clinical encounters where patients are dependent and physically and emotionally more vulnerable. It is common for patients to be emotionally and/or physically attracted to professionals who care for them. You as a protection specialist should be aware of this phenomenon because you could easily fall into that emotional role!
3) Tactical – I would agree with Dr. Holifield that an emotional involvement could easily distract you from what you’re there to do. And, as Frank Farmer says, “I can’t protect you like that”. If you haven’t read deBecker’s (et al) “Just 2 Seconds” yet, find yourself a copy on Amazon. It revitalizes the centruies-old martial arts philosophy of “living in the now” and demonstrates how important your mindset is while you’re working.
Leonard’s post is spot on. Becoming involved with a Protectee…or even their family or staff…is problematic on a number of levels. You simply won’t be able to perform your duties in the objective manner they require.
Im actually surprised this is even a discussion, no offence intended, but how could this ever be acceptable, this completely crosses the line between professional and unprofessional conduct.
You are hired to provide protective services, plain and simple, you are not hired to be their friend or any variation thereof.
This new wave of ‘bodyguards’ who think, they themselves are quasi-celebrities is ridiculous, it is not only hurting the client, but ultimately the industry as a whole… how can you effectively do your job if youre more worried about being in the limelight or romantically involved, than actually doing your job? Romantic encounters with clients goes against everything we teach… if you find your client making advances toward you, or flirting, it is in yours and their best interest that you remove yourself from the detail… if at that time you feel you must pursue the advances of the client, that is up to you, but dont soil the EP industry with yet another horrible bodyguard story that is passed around and laughed at by many.
In the world of high speed professional operators, i.e. former SEALs, Spec ops, etc, we are disgusted at the amount of poorly trained (if at all) so called ‘celebrity’ bodyguards who are more concerned with their image than the ultimate protection of their clients…
At the end of the day you are expected to be a paid professional who has invested time, energy, and money in the pursuit of excellence in executive protection industry anything less is just substandard.
This is a no brainer in my book. Becoming emotionally involved (leave alone romantically ) involved with your client is a receipe for disaster. Any relationship between you and your client that takes you out of your professional zone as a protection agent hired to protect your client can place both of you in imminent danger. Relationships like this tend to cloud the agents judgement and and take him/her out of the “Now”. As a protection agent on duty, your mind will tend to be in one of three places: The Past, the Present (Now), and the Future. If the agents mind is in any other place but the “Present” he’s in trouble if an attack jumps off. Needless to say, a romantic relationship between an agent and his/her client puts them both at risk. In the movie Enter the Dragon, at the start of the movie Bruce Lee, while schooling his young disciple in the woods, tells him “Don’t focus on the finger, or you will miss all the heavenly glory” The message here is that when an agent is emotionly or romantically focused on his client – he will inevitably miss something that may cost both him and his client their lives.